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UBERMONT: reprise, page 3UBERMONT!
Falchion climbed out of the dwarven lair and started sharpening his spear against a boulder. When he was done, he left the forest, lightly singing a tune:
"Herp, derp, I will go!
derp derp, super slow!
nerp slerp, rapin' sow!
jerp, gerp, I don't know!
herp herp, banged a crow!"
Quickly, a dark figure crept up on Falchion. Despite the fact that he was in an open field, Falchion was completely unaware of the oncoming traveler.
"What a song you have there. Would you mind telling me where you've heard it from?" The cloaked man said, almost scanning Falchion head to toe with his eyes.
"Why, I made it up myself. I am a genius after all!" Said Falchion, looking braindead. The cloaked figure had the look of shock in his eyes, being that they were the only part of his body showing, and he quickly dismissed himself back out of the open path. Falchion didn't think about following him, even though a dyslexic squir
UBERMONT: reprise, page 2UBERMONT!
As Falchion walked paced through the petrified forest, he felt no signs of suspicion. As he found a fine looking strip of wood, he tripped over something unseen, but shrugged it off. He picked up the wood and started carving it against a stump.
"Oi! Watch where you are going, or I'll bury my ax right where the sun never shines!" A short person said, who was standing before Falchion. Falchion looked down at the midget and laughed.
"Do you know who I am? I am the great former King Falchion! Invincible I am to your threats!" Falchion smiled.
"Invincible, eh? So you said KING Falchion, right? So you're a guy?" The midget said.
"Obviously..." Falchion patted the swarthy looking midget who obviously wasn't a child on the head as if he was one.
"No reason" The midget said as he kicked Falchion in the "acorns" (censorship *trollface*) Falchion fell unconscious to the sound of the midget laughing.
UBERMONT: reprise, page 1UBERMONT!
King Falchion sat upon his poorly crafted throne, looking out of the stained-glass windows to the horizon. His very few troops looked at him with the utmost anger, being that they were summoned an hour ago.
"Err... King Falchion... you called?" One of the guards muttered, almost to himself.
"WHAT IS IT!?" Falchion called from his throne, glaring at the guard who had the audacity to speak out. "What could be more important than the wars to the south? I have no idea how to stop teh ghettoness... and they only move further forward day after day..." Falchion sunk into his seat. "What could be more important than to soon have our lands filled with trailer parks an reruns of jersey shore?" Falchion shuddered.
"Sir, it's just that you called us an hour ago... what was it?" The same guard asked.
"I'm going to join the south wars! None shall come with me, and none shall stop me! Bye my friends!" And with that, King Falchion stormed out the door
Binding transformations part 2"come on, we have to keep moving, if we keep going at this pace, we may get out of the turtle lands in two days." Huck said.
"what use is it anyway? No matter where we go, there is no safehaven for normal humans. We have been looking for a year already, in the shadows, waiting, watching. And all we have ever found was half-humans, the ones that want to transform us, and just work for their petty needs tirelessly" Tiren said.
"So what do you want us to do? Join them? No? Okay then, shut up" alena said. These and four others were part of the last group of humans. Normal humans, anyway. One thousand years after the alien sealed the races off form each other, they have tried to find other was to get over the barriers. But there was a secret they did not know about. Normal humans could pass through the barriers, and go to the other lands. If any of the races figured this out as they captured them, they would surly use it to try to become the dominent race. So they must keep travelling, tryi
Binding transformationsBinding transformations
The world could not be any more split than it is now. or at least that's what Lon said a hundred years before our tale happens. The world was at constant, never ending civil war with itself, for the newborn humans had racism planted in their heads as soon as there eyes open. But not the racism that you probably are thinking about. No, skin color was very small compared to what really was going on.
"Halt there you wolven scum!" Lon shouted, raising his sharp, scale covered arms at the pack of wolf people advancing on draconic land. Lon was a draconic commander, who had to claw (no pun intended) his way to power in the dragon army. Yes, he was human, also dragon. Same with the wolves advancing on his territory. At birth, children of the different races are often forced to transform into a form alike the rest of their own country. There was no choosing sides, there was no going back, you were born fighting for territory, and you would often die. The wolven forces w
final fantasy 1 reviewFINAL FANTASY 1 (nes)
overall, I actually thought this game would suck. I just beat it, and its pretty good for 5 bucks. I thought it would suck becuse I beat ff 12, and thought the game just beat itself with the gambit system. But anyway, now for the reveiw
after looking at this game you may say "why the FUCK did this turd head rate this an 8?!" well the game is from 1990, so im talking about its graphics THEN. But really, they are okay, they get the point accross, even in 2010.
This game has a pretty good battle system, since it didnt have much to copy off of (it DID have dragon quest, wich is a game series I HIGHLY reccoment over the ff series) But the low amounts of MP got annoying, and the ways tht you can instantly die by bad luck can make one's mind spin. There are too many enemys with 1-hit-kill moves that automatically go first, so they can wipe out your whole party before you have the chance you attack. But else than that, very go
You're Not In Wonderland AnymoreShe was running; scared and desperate. The young lady fumbled her way through the darkness while the rocks cut into her bare feet. The tears spilling down her face were enough to fill a parlor, only rivaled by the sobs that threatened to shatter her heart like the broken mirror in her room.
She was seventeen practically a woman. Yet she dressed like a young child in frills and ribbons. The girl resented her sister’s constant nagging to wear corsets and evening gowns. She wanted to lie in fields of flowers and snuggle her cat to her chest. She wanted crawl her way into mischief and follow the little white rabbit again. She wanted to wander through the world she couldn’t quite understand, yet adored all the same. She even enjoyed giving chase to the guards who were guilty of painting the roses red for her majesty. This was the childhood refuge she had learned to call home. But it wasn’t meant to last forever.
“Please,” she begged. “Let me stay with you
“I’m done with you! This was your last chance and what did you do?! You screwed up again!” You yelled into your phone at your now ex-boyfriend. He once again cheated on you for the third time along with gambling, smoking, and buying useless things. He was using up all your hard earned money and you let him thinking that he had really changed this time. It always seemed like he had for a couple weeks but then things would change as soon as you started to save up your money and it seemed like you would have extra to spare which he would take form you instead of using the money he had. You really loved him but it was time to move on and not let him back into your life. You felt hot tears whelm in your eyes as you looked up at the sky. Finally, you decided it was good to walk for a bit to clear your mind.
As you walked, you soon came to Venice, not realizing how far you had walked form your home. You live in Italy for years and spoke the language well but you preferred to
Latex MummyInside of an old museum, was a brand new exhibit which was focused on Egyptian Queen Hut Tut Sut, a queen that wasn't very popular due to the fact she loved latex. In the blazing heat of Egypt latex was the last thing anyone wanted to wear and it was her obsession with the stuff that brought down her rule in the end.
As the museum owner, a middle aged woman with strawberry blonde hair wearing a dark orange suit and dark tights walked up to the coffin that held the mummified form of Queen Hut Tut Sut, she was pleased her place was getting something new.
She was also interested to see if the Queen was wrapped up in latex bandages, usually the mummify bandage is usually cloth but seeing how the queen loved latex the thought was too great not to check out. Grinning she slowly slide the lid off the coffin under a full blue moon which something on the hieroglyphics warned not to and peered inside and became instantly ecstatic.
What she saw was proof enough, the mummy was indeed wrapped up in
Tonight the Sky FallsFallenstar padded out of his den, a look of concern and fatigue crossed his face. Nutmeg hadn't stopped laughing for about five minutes, her shrill cackle was starting to hurt his ears. He wondered for a moment if they were bleeding, or would be soon...though he could have sworn they had already started to.
He narrowed his eyes as he heard rustling coming from the entrance to his camp. His hackles began to raise and his fur stand on end as the rustling became louder, and Fallenstar kept his eyes on the leafy barrier to see who it was that would enter.
Much to his relief, the sound faded away as Swiftleap and Sorrelfox trotted into view, Swiftleap with a piece of prey dangling from his jaws. The young black-and-white tom mumbled something to his senior companion that Fallenstar couldn't hear, but brushed away as unimportant as Sorrelfox padded over.
"Fallenstar," the somali panted, his pelt covered in leaves and a piece of spiderweb. They had just returned from their patrol of th
Words In The Rain
Donnie watched Mikey silently pulled on his rain boots and coat; while Donnie did the same. Everyone else had long since fallen asleep but not him and Mikey. They’d both lain awake in their bed, occasionally poking the other to make sure they were still awake. Only when the gentle sounds of their father’s snores reached their ears did they know they were safe to move. Slowly they’d gotten out of bed before silently pulling on their boots and coats while doing their best not to wake their brother’s or father. In front of him Donnie watched as Mikey struggled to do up the buttons in his coat. Giggling slightly Donnie pushed his little brother’s fingers out of the way and did the buttons for him; snapping them into place before buttoning up his own jackets before grinning at Mikey.
Mikey grinned back at him and nodded “yeah!”
A second later the 6 year old turtle clasped his hands over his mouth, his eyes going wide in fear tha
The Replacement-TG Caption
Mike was cleaning the camera lens for the fourth time that evening when Mr. Prez walked in red faced.
“Still no answer?” Mike asked.
Mr. Prez clenched his phone with rage. “Still no answer.” He said pinching his nose. He looked around the room. All the equipment was set up; the lights, the camera, the props. Everything was in place for the photo shoot except the thing they were shooting.
“I can't believe she did this again. How does she expect to make to make it in this industry if she is always late or a no show?” Mr. Prez said with his head pointed toward the ceiling.
“Maybe she just got caught up? Mike said putting the camera down.
“Oh please I'm tired of her excuses, it's always something.” Mr. Prez looked down at his watch. “Oh we're running out of time and I need these pictures for the spread next week. I can't have another late entry, the outlet will never forgive me.”
Mr. Prez started pacing back and forth.
Roana Hood: An alerntive Robin Hood Chapter 1It started with a stormy night. The rain lashed relentlessly against the windows while lightning shock the ground and thunder filled the air. In a little house on the outskirts of the village, close to the forest, were 2 young children huddled in the corner near the fireplace to hide from the frightening monsters that haunted the air and threatened to steal them from their kind old grandmother, who was sitting in her rocking chair, smiling at her grandchildren's fear of the natural weather.
"Come on children, the thunder and lightning will not harm you. It is merely God moving his furniture around." the grandmother told her children, trying to take their minds off of the frequent storms that had hit their homeland for the past few weeks. "Well he's been changing his mind a lot them hasn't he?" said the older one, a boy called Simon, retorted. His younger sister, called Emily, giggled at his joke while their grandmother laughed along. She smiled at him and laughed again when his frown w
Elven ImmigrantsBenny was complaining about elves again. It'd become a bi-weekly ritual for us. We'd meet for lunch, he'd sit there and cram his sandwich in his mouth, talking between every bite as soon as his mouth was clear enough to give his tongue room to work, and I'd dutifully turn my attention to my soup of the day and salad and pretend to care. I liked to think I'd gotten used to his vitriol. I liked to think I'd gotten used to all of it, the graffiti, the snide talking heads on the television, the internet hate groups. The vandalism at the shelter where I worked. We had to put up security cameras. I'd been threatened with a knife once, in the parking lot, until Deregyth came out and broke the man's wrist. I had been too shocked to move. The aged elf just watched the man flee, clutching his wrist, stumbling in his terror and haste to get away, and then the elf turned and his narrow eyes regarded me for a brief moment. Impassive.
CursedWhen I was five I told my teacher that my mother magically appeared whenever I was doing something wrong.
Miss Jones laughed. “All mothers do that, Jill.”
So it wasn’t until I was about thirteen that I realised that my mother was unusual in this respect. Picking my nose, yelling at a friend, trying to copy someone else’s homework—no matter how far apart we were, if I did something bad my mother would abruptly appear at my side glaring at me.
And she still does.
Mum doesn’t talk that much about my curse. I only know that it came from my father. Well, he was Mum’s husband—he wasn’t actually my father. Hence the curse, I suppose. I’ve never met him but he’s some kind of natural magician. Very rare.
The situation felt bearable as a child. I didn’t know any different and I was reassured by it, to be honest. But as a teenager going through a rebellious phase… Smoking, bit of graffiti, kissing boys. And more. My mot
ubermontKing jake sat on his throne in the ubermont capital, looking upon the horizon through a window in his throne room. He started sweating as if for no reason, his veins popped out and looked like he was turning purple.
"Sire! Sire, are you alright?" one of his royal palace gaurds said.
"what? Ya, i was just holding my breath, you were saying?" Jake said. He looked back up at the window, his eyes shaken.
"The maverick is out there, so is the fulcrum. But inbetween them, is teh gettoness!" Jake said.
"teh ghettoness?" one of the gaurds asked.
"no! only i can say teh!" jake yelled back.
"oookay... the ghettoness?" the gaurd said. he looked at the other gaurds with a wonderous look of "why do i bother with this idiot?"
"teh ghettoness is a not so organised organisation that plans to shut down and annialate the ubermont, fulcrum and maverick." jake said, the thought made him shudder.
(aka i got bored)
Nine TimesI saw him nine times.
The first time we were both sitting in the room together, getting ready to take the math test that would determine our placement. I was scatterbrained and throwing things around, trying to find the pencils that I had known I would need but had still just tossed in my purse. He was lounging backwards in his chair, looking for all the world as though he didn’t have a single care in the world, including the upcoming test. It annoyed me, that I was frantic and ready to scream, while someone else could be that relaxed.
I tested out of the class.
I don’t know if he did.
The second time I saw him, it was a few months after I arrived on campus. He was the one rushing and frantic this time, running across the square. He was probably late for class, though I had no way of knowing for sure. I was already lost in my own thoughts and ideas, deciding on my major and convincing people that yes, this is what I really want to do with my life. If they weren
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